Avoiding the worst (and most ridiculous) decisions of your college career

We’ve all been there, making mistakes and laughing them off. But what about the ones we don’t talk about? The ones that we are too embarrassed or ashamed to joke about? At a school like this, where the horse cops are as plentiful as red solo cups (okay, maybe not, but still), there are more than enough ways to find yourself in a tight squeeze where your friends can’t save you.

But there are ways to avoid these unnecessary debacles. There are innumerable and simple ways to avoid getting arrested, along with the hundreds, and even thousands, of dollars you could accumulate in debt.

1. Don’t drink on the sidewalk.

I know it’s cool and all that you’re at a college party. In fact, you’re so college. But drinking on public property is illegal, and not only is it illegal in Athens; it’s illegal in most places. The Open Container Law is the perfect way for cops to rack up a little extra money for the University (as if we’re already not paying enough).

2. Hide yo keys, hide yo wife.

But really, hide your keys before you go out. Or have a friend hide them. That way, you won’t be able to take a post-bar trip to Taco Bell for that Crunch Wrap Supreme you’ve just been craavving the past hour and, in doing so, avoid a potentially expensive trip to Nelsonville (and a long, lonely walk back).

3. Go out with a friend.

It doesn’t seem that difficult to do, but try sticking with each other after three or four Blackouts at Pawpurr’s. Yes, it’s nearly impossible. That way, if at least one of you can contain your alcohol, you can stop each other from admitting you’re underage (and that you’re totally excited because, like, it’s your first time at a bar and your fake worked!!!) to an undercover cop or puking outside of the bar.

4. Drink what you can handle, not what you can consume.

We’ve all had those stressful weeks where we’d rather drink bleach than study for an impending exam (one that we just know we will undoubtedly fail). We’ve all been there when our IDGAF attitudes come out, say “YOLO” (hopefully as a joke; we all know YOLO was never meant to be said in a serious manner) and hit up the bar instead. And that’s fine and all, as long as you know your limits. Losing your inhibitions might just land you in a prison cell, not knowing know how you got there in the morning.

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